I'm playing hooker with your dad

1: Note: Avoid FiberOne bars. They cause intense flatulence.

2: Will do!

1: Haha =]

2: I'm playing hooker with your Dad today!
2: No I meant hockey! Damn that auto correct!

1: Oh lord.

Alphabet Jokes

What is A B C D E F G stand for:

 

A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl.

 

After A B C D E F G………………………….

What about H I J K?

 

He is just kidding……

Iraqis

1: Please keep warm. Iraqis it will hit -23 tonight. Counting the days.

1: Not Iraqis. It was supposes to say "it says". I suck at texting.

Have cum for me too

1: My pleasure. Have cum for me too!!

2: LOL

1: Oh my heavens. That was supposed to be FUN. I am mortified!! I would never say that. I am sooo sorry...

2: Freudian slip LOL I got a good laugh

1: Not freudian.... Stupid fill in in iPhone!! Glad you found it funny. I am finding that embarrassing!!!

Buy you a casket

1: I just wanted to say: I love you!

2: Oh babe. I love you too. So much.
2: If I could, I'd buy you a casket.
2: Gah! A castle! Damn auto correct. Way to ruin a moment.
2: I definitely do not want you in a casket.
2: Hello?

Send fleas to the funeral

1: Centenary Methodist Saturday at 10am is Thoms Mothers Funeral. Her name is ****.

2: Do you want us to send fleas to the funeral. Or something to tom's house

1: I don't think he would appreciate fleas

I'm having a baby right now

1: I'm having a baby right now
1: Got damn spell check!!!
1: I'm having a beer right now

2: Lmao

Riding his bisexual

1: Can you come over in like 5 mins to watch the kids?

2: Sure... wheres John?

1: He's outside riding his bisexual
1: **bike! Omg! His bike. Hahahah.

2: Yiikes, sorry I asked. Haha

Assface

1: And quick question...what is the name of that place you get the carne assface from

1: OMG!!! Asada....my phone changed it to assface. Must text that too

Have some lesbian or lesgauna

1: Have some lesbian.

2: WTF???

1: Spell check I was trying to spell lesgauna

2: What?!? Lesguana???
2: Is that a cross between a lesbian and an iguana?
2: Lmfao

1: Spell check on this thing gave me lesbian

2: What is lesguana

1: Lol. Oi am crying