Drunk wife

A woman went on a girls' night out, promising her husband she'd be home by midnight. The hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3AM, a bit loaded, she went home. Just as she got in the door, their clock started up and cuckooed three times.

Realizing her husband would surely wake up, she cuckooed like the clock nine times more hoping she could fool her husband into thinking it was 12 midnight. She was proud of herself for coming up with such a quick and witty solution.

The next morning the husband asked her what time she got home. "Midnight," she said. He didn't seem pissed at all, which made the wife think she got away clean. Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." The wife asked why. "Well, last night," said the husband, "our clock cuckooed three times, then said, 'oh shit,' cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table, and farted."