He's the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my frog

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it."

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?"
Of course the Madam said no.

He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want." Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.

He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"

He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant for dinner, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad
get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it.

In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!"

Doctor's Last Word

A 20-yr old pretty, sexy and sensual girl went to see a psychiatrist.

'Doctor, I'm so angry at my boyfriend that I must call him Bastard. I feel that he's gone too far, and he deserves it.'

'Hmm? Such a word is strong and rude.But may be you have your own reasons. Tell me about it so that I can help you.'

'Yes, thank you, Doctor. There was one night...we parked our car besides the beach and we were alone... and... he held my hand....'

'Did he hold your hand like this?'

'Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're holding it now'

'If it's only this, he doesn't deserve to be called Bastard. It means he doesn't want to be separated from you.'

'Then, he leaned his body towards me... and hugged me...'

'Like this?'

'Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're doing.'

'It's not a Bastard. It means he wanna stay forever by your side'

'Then he kissed me...'

'Like this?'

'Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're kissing me.'

'If its only a kiss like this, seriously you can't call him Bastard. It means he adores you.'

'Then he put his hands inside my clothes and touched my boobs, Doc...'

'Like this?'

'Yes, Doctor... exactly like that'

'It's not behavior of a bastard. It means he wants to protect you.'..

'Then he took off all my clothes... slowly... '

'Did you resist?'

'No. I let him do it, coz I love him...'

'Did he take off your clothes like this?'

'Yes, Doctor. Until I'm completely naked like now......'

'He still doesn't deserve to be called 'Bastard, because it means he wanna learn about your body completely.'

'Then he kissed me and put his **** inside me and had **x with me...'

'Did he do it just like what we do?'

'Yes, Doctor. Exactly the same..'

'You still can't call him Bastard. It means he needs you.'

'But then he told me that he has AIDS'

All the staff and patients outside heard the doctor screaming, BASTAAAAARRD!!! #$@?%%^?@!#$#!!! @#$@%!&*^%?

Dying of AIDS

A woman went to her doctor. The doctor after an examination, sighed & said, "I have some bad news,you have cancer & you'd best put your affairs in order". The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself & walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. "Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, & we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer, let's head to the club & have a martini". After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less sober. There were some laughs & more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, "I've been diagnosed with AIDS". The friends were aghast & gave the woman their condolences. After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over & whispered, " Momma, i thought you said you were dying of cancer, & you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS".

The woman said, "I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone".