Wrong Service

A drunk says to the bartender, "I want a woman!"

So the bartender gave him directions to a brothel.

The drunk was so messed up that he accidentally walked into the wrong door, a Foot Doctor's office.

The receptionist at the counter asks, "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I want some service" states the drunk.

The lady sends him to the other room and tells him to put it on the table.

The drunk goes in and places his dick on the examination table.

When the doctor comes in and notices the man's penis on the table she says, "That's not a foot!"

The drunk replies, "Give it time, Lady, give it time."

The Broken Hearted Man

This guy walks into a bar and buys a bottle of vodka and sculls it down in front of the bartender.

The bartender goes, "Mate, what's wrong, haven't seen anyone do that in a while".
The guy replies, "My oldest son just told me he was gay."

The bartender replies, "that ain't good," just before the guy collapses on the floor in front of him.

The next day the same guy comes back in and buys another bottle of vodka.
"The bartender goes, "Mate, what's wrong this time?"

The guy goes, "My youngest son just told my he was gay."

Once again the bartender goes "Mate, that's fucken shockin," just like before the guy collapses on the floor again.

The guy walks again the next day and buys a bottle of vodka.

The bartender goes "Mate, isn't there anyone in you're family that likes pussy?"

The guy goes, "Apparently my wife does."

Single or married

At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender," JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".

The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"

Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"