Leather Dresses

Did You Know This About Leather Dresses? Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, A man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, He gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally. Ever wonder why? It's because she smells like a new golf bag.

The Cause Of Death

One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing.
Ben slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine.

He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the
ravine in search of his ball.

Ben searches diligently through the thick underbrush and suddenly he spots something shiny.

As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.

Ben excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: "Hey Thomas, come here, I got big trouble down here."

Thomas comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out: "What's the matter Ben?"

Ben shouts back in a nervous voice:

"Throw me my 7-iron!

Looks like you can't get out of here with an 8-iron."

The Golf Ball

Two golfing friends were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.

"Don't you have at least one other ball?", he asked.

"Nope, I only need one ball."

"Are you sure? What happens if you lose that one?"

"This is a very special golf ball. You can't lose it, so I don't need another one."

"What do you mean you can't lose it! What happens if you slice your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"

"That's okay, this special golf ball senses when it's under water and it puts out a steam of bubbles. I'll be able to retrieve it. You can't lose this ball"

"Well what happens if you hit it into the long rough?"

"No problem, you see, this ball can detect the long grass and it sends up puffs of fluorescent smoke. I'll be able to see it easily. You can't lose this ball"

Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball deep into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?. What are you going to do then?"

"That's okay too. You see, this special ball can sense the darkness and it makes a beeping sound. I'll be able to get it back - no problem."

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one amazing golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"

"I found it."

Genie grants the wish

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf..... Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied. "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself." "Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life. And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.

"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife." The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those
houses. What do you think?" She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

"NO SHIT. Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"