Showing posts with label shooting jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shooting jokes. Show all posts
Jun 20, 2012
Army Jokes: Shooting Exercises
The commander sees the hopeless results of Private Tan’s shooting exercises and his face falls.
Tan, knowing that he has done badly, says: “Sorry, sir. I feel like going to a quiet corner and shooting myself.”
The commander says: “Good idea-la. I suggest you take a lot of bullets.”
Sep 21, 2009
Indon, Bangla & Malaysian
An Indonesian, a Bangladeshi and a Malaysian Chinese are in a bar one night having a beer. The Indonesian finishes his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He brags, "In Jakarta our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."
The Bangladeshi is obviously impressed. When he finished his beer, he throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."
The Malaysian, cool as a cucumber, finishes his drink, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Indonesian & the Bangladeshi.
He says "Nyamah! In KL we have so many Indon and Bangla that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
He brags, "In Jakarta our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."
The Bangladeshi is obviously impressed. When he finished his beer, he throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."
The Malaysian, cool as a cucumber, finishes his drink, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Indonesian & the Bangladeshi.
He says "Nyamah! In KL we have so many Indon and Bangla that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
Sep 6, 2009
Best Marksman
One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town, and was astonished to notice evidence of the most amazing shooting.
On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull's-eyes with a bullet hole in dead center of each one.
The FBI man asked a local resident about the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship.
The resident introduced him to the shooter.
"This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen," said the FBI man.
"How in the world do you do it?"
"Nothing to it," said the person.
"I shoot first and draw the circles afterward."
On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull's-eyes with a bullet hole in dead center of each one.
The FBI man asked a local resident about the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship.
The resident introduced him to the shooter.
"This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen," said the FBI man.
"How in the world do you do it?"
"Nothing to it," said the person.
"I shoot first and draw the circles afterward."
Apr 9, 2009
Jokes: Perfect shot
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed, driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the heck is taking so long? Hit the darned ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance of hitting her from here."
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the heck is taking so long? Hit the darned ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance of hitting her from here."
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