The Men In Titanic

The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats.

So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.

To the British he said. "You must act like gentlemen." They jumped.

To the Americans he said, "You can be heroes." They complied.

To the Germans he said, "It's the rule." They obeyed.

To the Japanese he said," It's the consensus." They obliged.

Then came the Chinese and they just weren't budging until he came up with the appeal:

"Free life jackets for those who jumped..."

Globalization

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling)
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by an American,
using Bill Gates's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,transported by Indian lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....

That, my friends, is Globalization

How to do business with two cows - International Business skills

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them and hope to have more cows.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk.
They go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine instead. The two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu