Penile inadequacy

Do you know the difference between a healthy man and one obsessed with penile inadequacy? Of course, not.

Manic-depressive

Why did the manic-depressive cross the road?

Who cares?

What does any of it matter?

It's the tiger

1. NEWTON METHOD: Let tiger catch you. Every action has equal and opposite reaction. u can catch tiger as observed.


2. EINSTEIN METHOD: run in opposite direction to tiger. According to theory of relativity tiger will run fast and get tired and then you will be able to catch it.


3. According to most efficient POLICE METHOD: Catch a CAT and torture it till it agrees that its the TIGER.

Matchstick

One day, a matchstick feels his head damn itchy so he scratch it furiously and suddenly *POOF*, his head burst into a flame! "Blah Blah Blah!!", he started cursing. He was then admitted to the hospital. So now, guess what he became when he was discharged the next day?










Cotton bud - Whole head bandaged

Submarine Sinks

There's one hundred people weighing 100kg each in a submarine.

Why did the submarine sink?









Because submarines are meant to be submerged.

Ten Ants

An ant knocks the door of a HDB flat.

House owner opens the door. "I want a place to stay", said the ant.

"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost", said the owner.

Ant went inside and occupied that vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the owner "Can you please allow this ant to stay along with me".

"Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent" said the owner.

After some days the ant brought one more ant and requested the owner to allow that ant to stay with it. Owner agreed to it without asking for any rent. This continued i.e ant brings in one more ant and owner agrees for it.

On one fine day, the ant brought in tenth ant and requested the owner to allow that tenth ant also to stay with it.

The owner said "Ok, you all can stay here but you need to pay rent".

Now the question is Why did the owner ask for rent when the tenth ant came in?










Because they are now Tenants (Ten ants)

Perm Hair

Char Siew Pao and Mee Kia got involved in an argument. Char Siew Pao got very angry and shouted at Mee Kia, "I'm going to find my gang to hantam you!"

So, Char Siew Pao went to round up Leng Yong Pau and Tau Sar Pow.

Just then, Maggi Mee walked around the corner. Immediately, the Paos started to beat him up.

As Char Siew Pao was punching Maggi Mee, he shouted, "Don't think just because you perm your hair, we can't recognize you, ok!"

Throw His Watch

Why did the boy throw his watch into the trash bin?






Because he wanted to waste time!

Why Can't Penguins Fly?

Why can't penguins fly?





Because they don't have money to buy air tickets!