I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
Showing posts with label waiter jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label waiter jokes. Show all posts
Mar 16, 2012
Oct 29, 2009
The One-Day Delicacy
A Texan cowboy stopped at a restaurant in Mexico.
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, "Ah Senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The cowboy said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"
The waiter replied, "I am so very sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning.
If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"
The next morning, the cowboy placed his order, and was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor, sometimes the bull wins."
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, "Ah Senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The cowboy said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"
The waiter replied, "I am so very sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning.
If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"
The next morning, the cowboy placed his order, and was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor, sometimes the bull wins."
May 20, 2009
Butterfly stroke in the soup
Irate diner: Can you explain what this fly is doing in my soup?
Waiter: I believe he's doing the butterfly stroke, sir.
Waiter: I believe he's doing the butterfly stroke, sir.
May 14, 2009
Dentures in soup
Diner: Waiter! I found these dentures in my soup!
Waiter: Oh thank you, sir! Our chef has been looking for them everywhere!
Waiter: Oh thank you, sir! Our chef has been looking for them everywhere!
May 13, 2009
Restaurant branches
Diner: How do you explain this twig I found in my rice?
Waiter: It stands to reason, sir. Our restaurant has branches everywhere.
Waiter: It stands to reason, sir. Our restaurant has branches everywhere.
May 12, 2009
Dead fly in soup
Angry diner: Waiter! Why is there a dead fly in my soup?
Waiter: Well, the hot water usually kills them, sir.
Waiter: Well, the hot water usually kills them, sir.
May 9, 2009
Coffee without milk
Diner: I'd like some coffee without milk.
Waiter: We don't have any milk, sir. How about coffee without cream?
Waiter: We don't have any milk, sir. How about coffee without cream?
May 2, 2009
Unshrinkable tie
Diner: Waiter, do you realize that your tie is in my soup?
Waiter: That's all right, sir. It's not shrinkable.
Waiter: That's all right, sir. It's not shrinkable.
Apr 25, 2009
Give me the menu
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
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