Email jokes

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

Computer screen saver jokes

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Internet password jokes

Customer: can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

What's on your monitor

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.

computer idiot customer

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer:! OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

Color printer

Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....... ......... ....thank you.

Computer can't find the printer

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Technical

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

Pee on keyboard

Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

Your left or my left?

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

What kind of computer do you have?

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...

Not long enough

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer and, at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and would use each time he had to log on.

The husband was a bit bored by the process and, feeling in a rather amorous mood, figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he paused for effect, then letter by letter, with his wife watching over his shoulder, he keyed in .......

P

E

N

I

S

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer response was:

PASSWORD REJECTED....... NOT LONG ENOUGH

Help command

Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.

When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' Command after some tries.

Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer Retailer for support.

Ah Beng: "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah?!"

Positive outlook

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH POSITIVE OUTLOOK

Open a new file in your PC

Name it as "BOSS"

Send it to the "RECYCLE BIN"

Empty the RECYCLE BIN

Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete BOSS permanently?

Answer calmly, "Yes" and press the mouse button firmly...

Feel better?
Have a nice day!!!

Sorry, I can't respond to emails today

Sorry, I can't respond to emails today. Something has crashed on my computer, and the mouse is missing.