WIPEOUT

A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes: “Use more soap on panties!”

She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: “Use more soap on panties!” The laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from him: “I use plenty soap on panties!!! Use more paper on ass!!!”

Christmas Eve Joke

3 men died on Christmas eve & were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates, "In honor of this holy season", Saint Peter said, "You must each posses something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven".

The 1st man fumbles through his pockets & pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle.", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates". Saint Peter said.

The 2nd man reached into his pocket & pulled out a set of keys. He shook them & said, "They're bells".

Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The 3rd man started searching desperately through his pockets & finally pulled out women's panties.

Saint Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow & asked, "And just what to do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols"