Sex Toy

Fred and Ethel had been married for 20 years, but Ethel had finally gotten sick and tired of one of Fred's strange habits.

Every time they made love, Fred insisted on shutting off the lights. After 20 years Ethel felt this was ridiculous, and figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.

So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw Fred was using a battery-operated pleasure device -- a vibrator!

She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him. "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

"I'll explain the toy," Fred says, looking her straight in the eyes, "if you explain the kids."

Impotency

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors.

The waiting room was filled with patients.

As he approached the receptionist's desk he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.

He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE. You want to see the Doctor about impotence, right?'

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.

He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied:

'No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation, but I don't want the same doctor that did yours.'