TV jokes

The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class.

She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'

Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

Stupid stands up

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!'

After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?'

'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

Bathroom help

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

Ah Beng Jokes: Future Tense

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.

Ah Beng : The future tense is "u will go to jail"

Wait a Minute

Teacher: "How long is a minute?"

Student: "Which kind of a minute do you mean, Ma'am - a real minute - or "wait a minute"?"

Teacher is not good

Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son : That's why I say she's no good!

Unlawful and illegal

A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"

Only one hand shot up.

'Ok, answer, Joan' said the teacher.

"'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle."

Same dog, same composition

Teacher : Simon, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Comb Jokes

Teacher: 'How come you do not comb your hair?'
Ah Kow: 'No comb, Sir.'
Teacher: 'Use your dad's then.'
Ah Kow: 'No hair, Sir.'

Every part

Teacher: 'Where were u born?'
Student: ' Singapore , Sir.'
Teacher: 'Which part?'
Student: 'All of me, Sir.'

His father

Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted : You don't know my father!

History has no future

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why? Student: There is no future in it.

Jokes: Kill your father

Teacher: Who is called "killer"?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: For example; if you kill your father, what would you be called?
Student: Orphan

Legal versus logical

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question.

If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you to give me an "A" for the exam. "

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical.

Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal.

The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."