Wrong Service

A drunk says to the bartender, "I want a woman!"

So the bartender gave him directions to a brothel.

The drunk was so messed up that he accidentally walked into the wrong door, a Foot Doctor's office.

The receptionist at the counter asks, "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I want some service" states the drunk.

The lady sends him to the other room and tells him to put it on the table.

The drunk goes in and places his dick on the examination table.

When the doctor comes in and notices the man's penis on the table she says, "That's not a foot!"

The drunk replies, "Give it time, Lady, give it time."

Can't pee out

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room & approached the desk. The Receptionist said, "Yes Sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my dick". he replied.

The Receptionist became irritated & said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room & say things like that".

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong & I told you", he said.

The Receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear".

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone".

The man walked out, waited several minutes & then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly & asked, "Yes?"

"There is something wrong with my ear" he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly & smiled, knowing he had taken her advice, "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't pee out of it! " he replied.

Large and almost constant erection

A guy walked into the doctor's surgery for an appointment.
"Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty receptionist asked.
"I'll need the information for the doctor."
"It's rather embarrassing," the guy stammered. "You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection."
"Well, the doctor is very busy today," the receptionist cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze you in."