Showing posts with label singapore army jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label singapore army jokes. Show all posts
Sep 10, 2012
Army Jokes: The Three Golden Rules
The three golden rules for Singapore Cadets:
i) If it doesn’t move, hide behind it.
ii) If it does move, surrender to it.
iii) If it has four legs and isn’t a table, eat it.
Aug 10, 2012
Singapore Army Jokes: Ways to Boost Recruitment
Seven ways the Singapore army is trying to boost recruitment:
1) Military transport flights now earn frequent flier miles;
2) Superiors can now be addressed as “Dude”;
3) Army walkie-talkies replaced with latest iPhones;
4) There’s always plenty of parking at the mall when you’re driving a tank;
5) Radar screen toggles with user’s Facebook page;
6) New uniform to be issued in Ermenegildo Zegna herringbone with silk Hermes lining;
7) Army rations now include freeze-dried Starbucks latte.
Jul 10, 2012
Army Jokes: Secure the Building
The term “secure the building” means different things to different military personnel.
NATO troops: “Occupy the premises and prevent anyone else entering.”
US Marines: “Make an all-sides armed assault on the place, and then defend it with suppressive fire.”
Singapore soldiers: “Take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.”
Jun 30, 2012
Army Jokes: The work of 50 Soldiers
As a joint exercise of Southeast Asian forces gets underway, a Malaysian general says to a Thai colonel: “I just discovered something that does the work of 50 soldiers.”
The Thai asks: “Really? What is it?”
The Malaysian replies: “Two hundred Singaporean soldiers.”
Jun 20, 2012
Army Jokes: Shooting Exercises
The commander sees the hopeless results of Private Tan’s shooting exercises and his face falls.
Tan, knowing that he has done badly, says: “Sorry, sir. I feel like going to a quiet corner and shooting myself.”
The commander says: “Good idea-la. I suggest you take a lot of bullets.”
Apr 20, 2012
Singapore Soldier Joke
A NATO soldier, standing guard in the rain with a 20-kilo pack on his back, says: “Life is hard.”
A People’s Liberation Army soldier, standing in the snow in an ill-fitting uniform with a long march ahead, says: “Life is hard.”
A Singaporean army cadet taking his iPad out of the 15-kilo pack his maid is carrying, says: “No Wi-Fi? WTF?”
Mar 10, 2012
Singapore Cadet - Privilege and Money
Private Lim fails basic training and reports to the commander for punishment.
The officer says: “Chose your own forfeit. One month’s loss of privileges or 20 days’ pay.”
The Singapore cadet thinks about it. “I guess I’ll take the money.”
Jan 20, 2012
Army Jokes: Singapore Dessert Soldier
Two Singaporean soldiers are talking.
Tan: “Pass the tiramisu.”
Lim: “Cannot-la.”
Tan: “Why not?”
Lim: “Against army regulations to help another soldier to dessert.”
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