Small, smaller

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table. 'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'

'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'

Three Phases of Breasts and Penis

A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women`s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry."

This infurated the wife and daughter so the daughter said."Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and looks at her daughter and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man`s twenties, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only!"

My MOM and DAD not same side of the family

A little girl asked her mother: "How did the human race appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his."

It's mummy

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything.

When I was 3 years old

One day my mom was out & my dad was in charge of me & my brother who is 4 years older than I am. I was maybe 3 & a half years old & had just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken among other injuries. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift & it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news & my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of tea, which was just water. After several cups of tea & lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was just the cutest thing.

My mom waited & sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for daddy & she watches him drink it up, then she says to him, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?"

Mothers know

Getting Married

A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married. His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha, a girl from the neighbourhood.

With a sad face the old man said to his son, "I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother."

The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated because the response was still the same.

So he decides to go to his mother. "Mom, I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you."

His mother smiling said to him, "Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls... you're NOT his son!!"