Bloody English Language

Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language!

Wife: Do you want dinner?

Wife: Do you want dinner?

Husband: Sure, what are my choices?

Wife: Yes and no.

Lion bounced on wife

In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.

WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!

SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing the battery of my camera..

Part & Art of living

Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...

But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.

Cool message by a wife

Cool message by a woman: Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"

Husband was seriously ill

Husband was seriously ill.

Doctor to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant and in good mood, don’t discuss your problems, no TV series, don’t demand new clothes and gold jewels, do this for one year and he will be okay.

On the way home..

Husband: what did the doc say ?

Wife: No chance for you to survive.

A Special Package for Business Men

An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free. After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.

All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"

Singapore Radio Station Jokes

A Singapore radio station receives a call. “This is the military. Can you tell us the exact time?” The deejay asks: “Who wants to know?” The caller says: “What difference does that make?” The deejay explains: “If you are spies, it’s three o’clock. If you are pilots, it’s 15 hundred hours. If you are navy guys, it’s six bells. If you are local army cadets, it’s 120 minutes to happy hour.”

Army Jokes: The Three Golden Rules

The three golden rules for Singapore Cadets: i) If it doesn’t move, hide behind it. ii) If it does move, surrender to it. iii) If it has four legs and isn’t a table, eat it.

Singapore Army Jokes: Ways to Boost Recruitment

Seven ways the Singapore army is trying to boost recruitment: 1) Military transport flights now earn frequent flier miles; 2) Superiors can now be addressed as “Dude”; 3) Army walkie-talkies replaced with latest iPhones; 4) There’s always plenty of parking at the mall when you’re driving a tank; 5) Radar screen toggles with user’s Facebook page; 6) New uniform to be issued in Ermenegildo Zegna herringbone with silk Hermes lining; 7) Army rations now include freeze-dried Starbucks latte.