What does a dyslexic devil worshiper do on weekends?
He worships Santa.
May 27, 2010
May 25, 2010
May 23, 2010
Barbra Streisand's ego
Hundreds of Barbra Streisand's possessions will be sold at an auction in Los Angeles. Amongst all these items there is one rumored to be so big, so spectacularly grand, so priceless that no dollar amount could possibly be placed on it. Fortunately, her ego's not for sale.
May 21, 2010
Fill in the blank
Fill in the blanks.
1. B O O _ S
2. _ _ N D O M
3. F _ _ K
4. P _ N _ S
5. P U _ S _
Have you done this?
Good.
Now check your answers.
The correct answers are:
1. B O O K S
2. R A N D O M
3. F O R K
4. P A N T S
5. P U L S E
Dirty mind!
1. B O O _ S
2. _ _ N D O M
3. F _ _ K
4. P _ N _ S
5. P U _ S _
Have you done this?
Good.
Now check your answers.
The correct answers are:
1. B O O K S
2. R A N D O M
3. F O R K
4. P A N T S
5. P U L S E
Dirty mind!
May 20, 2010
Shit jokes
A clinical hypnotherapist induced a trance to a large group of volunteers and ordered them to do whatever he said immediately upon command. Unfortunately, he tripped over his own couch and yelled, "Shit!"
May 19, 2010
Today's thought about Woman
Women are basically greedy. They want all things from one man.
While men are so simple that they want only one thing from all women.
We are all in line 2
While men are so simple that they want only one thing from all women.
We are all in line 2
May 17, 2010
Do you smoke after sex?
A doctor asked his patient trying to quit smoking, "Do you smoke after sex?"
She responded, "I don't know. I never looked."
She responded, "I don't know. I never looked."
May 15, 2010
Humour - 2 priests on vacation
Two Priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.
They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a topless bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.
As the blonde passed them she smiled and said "Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits.
These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different coloured topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, said "Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father," and started to walk away.
One of the Priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, "Just a minute, young lady."
"Yes, Father?"
"We are Priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?"
She replied, "Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen."
They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a topless bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.
As the blonde passed them she smiled and said "Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits.
These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different coloured topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, said "Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father," and started to walk away.
One of the Priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, "Just a minute, young lady."
"Yes, Father?"
"We are Priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?"
She replied, "Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen."
May 12, 2010
Oral for an extra $20
An ugly guy walks into a bar and asks the best-looking woman if he can buy her a drink. She shouts, "No, I won't sleep with you, you disgusting pig."
A few minutes later, she apologizes, explaining that she's a psych student researching humiliation.
He shouts back, "What do you mean you'll do for oral for an extra $20?"
A few minutes later, she apologizes, explaining that she's a psych student researching humiliation.
He shouts back, "What do you mean you'll do for oral for an extra $20?"
May 10, 2010
How does someone with chronic memory loss shop for groceries?
How does someone with chronic memory loss shop for groceries?
What? Hmm? Sorry?
What? Hmm? Sorry?
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