Feb 15, 2011
Dec 1, 2010
Haircut
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about
his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing
community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When
the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card
and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the
barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community
service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when
the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts
waiting for him at his door.
Then a UMNOputra came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the
barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community
service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop. The next
morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen UMNO putras lined up
waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the
citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!
his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing
community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When
the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card
and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the
barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community
service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when
the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts
waiting for him at his door.
Then a UMNOputra came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the
barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community
service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop. The next
morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen UMNO putras lined up
waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the
citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!
Nov 18, 2010
Nov 5, 2010
Indian LOGIC
Water is precious
Save water
Drink beer
People who drink, get drunk
People who get drunk, go to sleep
People who go to sleep, do no sin
People who do no sin, go to heaven
So.. so let us all drink, and go to heaven!
Save water
Drink beer
People who drink, get drunk
People who get drunk, go to sleep
People who go to sleep, do no sin
People who do no sin, go to heaven
So.. so let us all drink, and go to heaven!
Nov 2, 2010
Engineer in Hell
An engineer dies and goes to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
Nov 1, 2010
TAKING A WOMAN TO BED!
What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78?
At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!
At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???
At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!
At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???
Oct 26, 2010
Buy mum
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'
Oct 16, 2010
Police Station Jokes
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him"
Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him"
Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "
Oct 6, 2010
TV jokes
The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'
Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'
She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'
Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'
Sep 26, 2010
Giving up
Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.'
"What's the matter," asked Larry "Giving up?"
"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.'
"What's the matter," asked Larry "Giving up?"
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